At the end of the year, a plea for the most important task of a good communicator: listening! Let’s be honest. For many, communication usually means pressing the send button far too often and far too quickly. Of course, we know that the bait has to taste good to the fish – and not to the fisherman. But sometimes we are too driven by our own idea or an overambitious product manager… The result is always the same: we are disappointed that our message doesn’t really get across and has even less impact.
Listening helps. Above all, listening is an opportunity for reflection, a chance to think again or even a second time. Above all, however, listening makes it possible to see and understand what really moves the potential recipient of our messages and how they themselves talk about it. Listening means taking the position of the other person. And not with a ”but” in mind, but with an ”and”. And with this openness when listening, we can then develop our own messages much more precisely and shape them in such a way that they lead to a dialogue with our partner. This leads away from thinking with two positions, one of which absolutely has to prevail. Instead, it leads to a meaningful compromise in terms of content – and that is the chance to make a difference with your message, perhaps even to change things. How do we react when we meet someone who doesn’t listen to us because they overemphasise their own position? Exactly, we usually react even more dismissively, not in a good way. But listening is more than just a tactical tool, it must become an attitude, perhaps even our philosophy. Listening creates respect through better understanding. And when we respect the recipient of our message, our tone changes. Listening is not easy, sometimes we have to listen several more times and sometimes we have to listen too many to get the picture. We cannot delegate listening, not to other people and not to clever algorithms. You have to take the time to read the comments on social media or the posts in a chat or forum for yourself. Then you get the feeling for words and moods that is so important for your own message. And that is the bridge to the wonderful song by Roxette: you have to listen with an open heart, you have to be a romantic who can listen to a song anywhere if you allow your heart to. Then you can also speak and write with your heart. Here is the link to the wonderful live version of Listen to Your Heart, live in Santiago, from 2012.
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I work as a freelance communications consultant in Leksand in Dalarna, Sweden. With thirty years of experience as a communications manager in Sweden, Germany, England and Luxembourg, I know how important it is to work pragmatically. Communication is a craft – and only sometimes an art. Crises have no opening hours and don’t just work Monday to Friday from 8am to 5pm. If you need help: 0046 70 735 1911 or kommunikation@tillasgarden.se. I promise fair billing and don’t need long-term contracts. I’m there when you need me!